Passage Two
Entire cultures operate on elaborate systems of indirectness. For example, I discovered in a small research project that most Greeks assumed that a wife who asked , “Would you like to go to the party?” was hinting that she wanted to go. They felt that she wouldn’t bring it up if she didn’t want to go. Furthermore, they felt, she would not state her preference directly because that would sound like a demand. Indirectness was the appropriate means for communicating her preference.
Japanese culture has developed indirectness to a fine art. For example, a Japanese professor, Harumi Befu, explains the delicate exchange of indirectness required by a simple invitation to lunch. When his friend extended the invitation, Befu first had to determine whether it was meant literally or just a ritual, much as an American might say, “We’ll have to have you over for dinner some time” but would not expect you to turn up at the door. Having decided the invitation was meant literally and having accepted, Befu was then asked what she would like to eat. Following custom, he said anything would do, but his friend, also following custom, pressed him to specify. Host and guest repeated this exchange an appropriate number of times, until Befu thought it polite to answer the question—polite—by saying that tea over rice would be fine. When he arrived for lunch, he was indeed served tea over rice—as the last course of a luxurious meal. Befu was not surprised by the feast, because he knew that custom required it. Had he been given what he asked for, he would have been insulted. But custom also required that he make a great show of being surprised.

On receiving a lunch invitation, Befu first has to ______.