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Parents can ascertain what is normal in physical, mental and social development ,by refer- ring to some of the many books based on scientific knowledge in these areas, or less reliably, since the sample is smaller, by comparing notes with friends and relatives who have children.
Intelligent parents, however, realize that the particular setting of each family is ____51 ____and there can be no rigid general rules. They use general information only as a guide in making decisions and solving problems. For example ,they will need specific suggestions for problems such as speech ____52____ or backwardness in learning to walk or control of bodily functions. In the more general ____53 ____,though, problems of upbringing are recognized to be problems of relationships within the individual family, the first necessity being a secure emotional background with parents who are united in their attitude to their children.
All parents have to solve the problems of freedom and discipline. The younger the child, the more ____54____ the mother gives in to his demands to avoid disappointing him. She knows that if his energies are not given an ____55____ ,her child's continuing development may be warped. An example of this is the young child's need to ____56____ with the mud and sand and water. A child must be allowed to enjoy this “messy” but tactile stage of discovery before he is ready to go on to the less physical pleasures of toys and books. ____57____ ,throughout life, each stage depends on the satisfactory completion of the one before.
Where one stage of child development has been left out, or not sufficiently experienced, the child may have to go back and capture the experience of it. A good home makes this____ 58____——for example by providing the opportunity for the child to play with a clockwork car or toy railway train up to any age if he still needs to do so. This principle, in fact, ____59____ all psychological treatment of children in difficulties with their development, and is the ____60 ____of work in child clinics.
(From Bringing Up Children)