Passage3

Questions 11 to 15 are based on thefollowing passage.

A ritualis any "have-to" behavior that is predictably and compulsivelyengaged in.Personal feelings are secondary to these mandates. You give thebirthday gift or celebrate Mother's Day whether you feel like it or not.

Transgressing(违反) ritual usually causes discomfort or hostility. For example,a husbandgets angry when dinner is late. Or the wife gets angry because her husbandforgot to kiss her at the door or does not wish to visit his in-laws on Sundayafternoon. Often there is a furious outburst. The one who did not carry out theritual is made to feel guilty while the "denied" person feelsrejected and angry.

Rituals disguisethe process of the relationship, what it would look like if left to spontaneousinteraction. The resistance and resentment surrounding a ritualistic"should" response emerges indirectly. A man who comes home for dinnerat six, though he would have preferred being elsewhere, may show resentmentthrough distraction, forgetting things, non-participation in the conversationat the table, or may suddenly explode over a minor incident.

In my researchon people's honeymoon experiences a large percentage of those looking backyears later expressed disappointment, particularly women, who felt freer to behonest about their feelings. Giving the good-night kiss, doing things together,and "being nice" to each other are all a part of the rituals ofhoneymoons. There is great pressure to suppress any resistances, boredom, orconflicting feelings. Consequently, it is not uncommon for one partner or bothto drink too much or become ill during the honeymoon, shortening the length ofthe trip. The honeymoon experience is full of ritualistic behavior andexpectations that produce sudden, unpredictable outbursts of anger over pettyincidents.

In general, hemore polarized(极化的) the couple in theirmasculine-feminine(男女的) condit, the less they can shareon an active, daily basis. Consequently, they require a maximum of ritualisticbehavior to structure the relationship. On the contrary, the more two peoplechoose each other as partners out of genuine liking rather than ability to playa role, the less ritualized their interaction will need to be. A good-nightkiss can be joyfully and passionately given, but it becomes a ritual if no realchoice is being made

 
How do people feel when their partners fail to carry out the ritual?