Passage 3
Questions 11 to 15 are based on the following passage.
A ritual is any "have-to" behavior that is predictably and compulsively engaged in.Personal feelings are secondary to these mandates. You give the birthday gift or celebrate Mother's Day whether you feel like it or not.
Transgressing(违反) ritual usually causes discomfort or hostility. For example,a husband gets angry when dinner is late. Or the wife gets angry because her husband forgot to kiss her at the door or does not wish to visit his in-laws on Sunday afternoon. Often there is a furious outburst. The one who did not carry out the ritual is made to feel guilty while the "denied" person feels rejected and angry.
Rituals disguise the process of the relationship, what it would look like if left to spontaneous interaction. The resistance and resentment surrounding a ritualistic "should" response emerges indirectly. A man who comes home for dinner at six, though he would have preferred being elsewhere, may show resentment through distraction, forgetting things, non-participation in the conversation at the table, or may suddenly explode over a minor incident.In my research on people's honeymoon experiences a large percentage of those looking back years later expressed disappointment, particularly women, who felt freer to be honest about their feelings. Giving the good-night kiss, doing things together, and "being nice" to each other are all a part of the rituals of honeymoons. There is great pressure to suppress any resistances, boredom, or conflicting feelings. Consequently, it is not uncommon for one partner or both to drink too much or become ill during the honeymoon, shortening the length of the trip. The honeymoon experience is full of ritualistic behavior and expectations that produce sudden, unpredictable outbursts of anger over petty incidents.
In general, he more polarized(极化的) the couple in their masculine-feminine(男女的) condit, the less they can share on an active, daily basis. Consequently, they require a maximum of ritualistic behavior to structure the relationship. On the contrary, the more two people choose each other as partners out of genuine liking rather than ability to play a role, the less ritualized their interaction will need to be. A good-night kiss can be joyfully and passionately given, but it becomes a ritual if no real choice is being made
How do people feel when their partners fail to carry out the ritual?